Sometimes I feel like the most horrible mom in the world. I look at other women who seem to have unlimited patience with their children. When Reggie has an especially little monster day, I have to stop and breath. He is so hard headed it blows my mind. I feel bad that I don't play with them enough. I get home from work and all I wanna do is feed them and turn on the t.v. Even when I'm off and I don't wanna do anything but sit around. It makes me feel so guilty. Today I went to McDonalds and got us grilled chicken salads for dinner and we watched some Spongebob. Then it was bath time so I scrubbed them down and let them play for awhile in the tub. Preston I could tell was getting sleepy. I dried them up and got them dressed then Reggie and Preston starts emptying out their toy bucket. It's so cute. Reggie gave me a truck and told me it was my car. I watched them take every one of their toys out of the tub. Then Preston climbed in. Too cute. Then I had them put all the toys they took out back. Reggie picked out the bed time story. It was one of those books that have different textures to touch for different animals. Preston did not like it at all. He didn't wanna touch anything. He acted like he was scared. Then I let Reggie read the book and I took Preston to put him to bed and he was holding onto me with all his might. He gives such great hugs. You just feel the love and it grows to where I feel like I can't even take it. It literally breaks my heart every time I have to let go. Then I tell Reggie it's time to get ready for bed so he gets his car and I cover him up with his blankets and I give him and his car a kiss goodnight. Reggie gives me lots of kisses and tells me he loves me everyday all the time. I tell him come give me some loving and he will let out a sigh and then he is like O.K. mommy. These moments make my heart just wanna burst. I just wanna do anything for them. I just want the world for them. I want them to know I love them more than there are stars in the galaxies. It blows my mind that I'm a mom and it scares me too because I want to make sure I'm a good mom. The days when I'm so tired from work or when my patience is thin kills me. One thing about working out has helped me have allot more energy for them. I just gotta take it one day at a time. I gotta remember to stop and appreciate my kids more. They wont be little forever. I mean Reggie is already jumping off of things and Preston is mimicking him. I can't believe they came out of me. I know I will never be a perfect mom but I know my boys will know their momma loves them more than anything in the world.
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