O.K. so I was talking to another guy I met online from where else but Plenty Of Fish. I know I know you are like what do you expect. Hell it's hard out there to meet people. Especially when all you do is work and come home and take care of your kids. The people I meet everyday are only in town for a little while. Anyways he has been trying to meet me for some time and I kept blowing off. I didn't like his aggressiveness. Like why does this dude wanna see me so bad. He would say stuff like don't let the men from your past keep you from opening up and some other bullshit. That instantly irritates me. I'm not letting the men from my past ruin my chances for relationships in the future. I'm sorry if your words aren't enough for me. Just because you say I'm pretty, I'm smart and all that other CRAP that dudes say to try to make you feel special isn't enough for me. I need something of substance. I need actions. My past only makes me more cautious and more aware of signs that back in the day I would of ignored. You are saying I'm some broken down woman that has been used up by fucked up dudes. No that is not me. I have made a mistake in the relationships I have had in the past. I know how it is now. I know the games the bullshit that comes out of their mouths and it does not impress me. That's not what I'm looking for. I don't wanna play the games. I'm not looking for a dude to make me feel pretty and special because you know what. I already know I'm fine as hell. Bad men out there love to prey on woman with low self esteem and no self worth. That is not me and that is what that sounds like to me what he thinks I am. Like I have some sign on my forehead saying I'm a desperate single mother who is looking for any man to love me. Hell no. I refuse to be that woman. It's like the guys out there are lost. They don't know what they want in their lives or relationships. They say they only want something casual and then wanna get their feelings hurt when you don't entertain the idea of it being more than that. If I'm interested in you, I won't play any games. I will let you know exactly how I feel and what I think. If you are doing something that I don't understand I will ask you right when it is happening and that's all that I want in return. I don't trust a dude who is acting like he is in love with me and he has only known me for a month, I'm not trusting a dude who immediately wants to meet my kids. That is a huge no go. The only man I will have around my kids will be one that is going to be sticking around. If he is too good to be true HE IS! Whoever I decide to bring into my world will be brought into my boys world so I'm sorry if I'm a little bit picky about who I want around them. I'm not trusting a man who says they wanna help me and pay my bills. What the fuck! Dude I don't want you to pay my bills. I had let my self become completely dependent on a man and that didn't get me no where and that will not happen again. I'm not going to be stuck with someone because they pay some bills. It's amazing how many woman are in that situation. It's absolutely crazy to me. That is not living. I wanna be with someone that supports me emotionally not financially.
I had gotten contacted by and old high school crush. He found me on facebook. So I talk to him for a couple of weeks. Not talking about dating each other or anything. Just talking about how high school used to be. Then he is like asking me questions about the area I live in and what are jobs like out here. He asked what my rent was like and how much utilities were. Then he says he had a question for me. I was like are you going to ask to move in with me. He was like I wanna help you. What the fuck. No way this dude isn't for real. I told him no of course and I never heard from him again and then a few months later another old high school love started acting the same way. I immediately right off the bat and told him if he was trying to move in with me that was not happening. It's like they look on my facebook and although my pictures show me happy and my status updates to me does not show signs of being desperate that's what they see. It's so insane to me.
It seems to me that dating is even harder than I thought it was going to be. I may be a little picky. Men just seem sorry with no jobs or cars or their own place. I know the economy is bad but I'm making it and I have kids. A single guy with no kids can't make it out there? I'm not your income, your place for you to crash, or a taxi driver. So to men all over, do not waste my time with your lame ass games. I can see right through it. I do not have low self worth and self esteem. I am not desperate and I am not broken.
No comments:
Post a Comment